Slugs

I hate slugs. I generally like many insects, birds, frogs, salamanders, snakes - all kinds of creatures except slugs and eels.

Yesterday, I washed off countless slugs from lettuce and spinach I brought in from the garden. Little one, big ones - clearly it has been a slugfest in the greens bed. So I called my husband and had him pick up slug beer. I still use cat food cans from my dearly departed cats - gone over a decade but living on in slug hunting. Beer in cans throughout the garden is still the most effective and easiest way I know to rid me of having to look at a slug competing with me for lettuce leaves.

I was relieved that my husband was out doing errands and thus the getting-the-beer task fell to him. It is soooo embarrassing when I do it.

I generally ask the merchant what the cheapest beer they have is - no reason to overspend on the nasty slimers - and I inevitably over explain. Do they care why I want the cheapest beer made? No. But I always feel compelled to defend my honor and tell them the beer is not for my consumption, but for the slug cans. Do I look like a Pabst Blue Ribbon affectionado? Probably not. Especially when I buy singles. But I always tell them, apologetically, "It's not for me, it is for slugs in the garden".  They shrug, clearly signalling "whatever, lady".

Perhaps the thing to do is give the slugs decent beer, and take a swig or two while I bait the murderous traps. Bring out the evil in me. No explaining. Eastwood style. With a glint in my eye.

Of course, if I am tipsy there is the danger I'd go the other way: "oh, look at these poor misunderstood creatures....."

Cheap beer it is.

Copyright 2010, EmeraldAcre.blogspot.com